Introduction
Finally Christmas is right around the corner. Which corner that is I have no clue, but my Advent calendar is telling me it’s time to pull out all the stops. So we have more Christmas movies and music, which leaves us no time to read this week. That also means a trip through spirits for the holidays. How can we celebrate the spirit of Christmas without spirits? We are off next week so this is our Christmas show.
Spirits for the Holidays
- Cognac: The word almost seems magical when one is speaking about spirits. While many spirits made around the world can be called brandy; only French brandies from the AOC region of Cognac, following strict production methods are called Cognac. Predominately made from the Ugni Blanc grape, Cognac is made in copper pot stills and aged in French oak for a minimum of two years.
- Very Special -VS: Aged 2 years
- Very Superior Old Pale – VSOP: Aged 4 or more years
- Extra Old – XO: Aged over 6 years
- Armagnac: Cognac’s older cousin, made from essentially the same varieties of grapes, Armagnac is distilled only once, as opposed to Cognac’s second distillation, resulting in a heavier and more flavorful spirit. Armagnac is a much smaller producing region than Cognac. Armagnac is often distilled in a continuous Armagnacais still, while cognac is double distilled, following the Charentais distillation process. I’m sure you needed to know that.
- Grand Marnier: Created in 1880 by Alexandre Marnier-Lapostolle, (La-pos-tol-ye-ah) Grand Marnier is a bitter orange liqueur made from a Cognac base. You can probably thank the Cadillac Margarita for the majority of its production demands these days, but some like to sip it straight.
- Cointreau: Also a bitter orange liqueur, Cointreau differs from Grand Marnier because it is made from a neutral spirit base rather than a Cognac base. The result is a lighter, cleaner spirit that works especially well in cocktails.
- Chartreuse: Categorized as an herbal liqueur, chartreuse has been made by Carthusian monks since 1605. Containing 130 different herbs, spices, roots and barks, it comes in two varieties: green Chartreuse is 55 % ABV and is spicier and drier than its cousin, yellow Chartreuse, a 40 % ABV sipper that is softer and sweeter than the green.
- Benedictine: Like Chartreuse, Benedictine is also an herbal liqueur, though any monastic connections it claims are likely fabricated by tits creator, Alexandre Le Grand. But don’t let the fact that this herbal liqueur isn’t being made in an abbey deter you from its rich, peppery, honey-sweet flavor profile. Benedictine is often consumed neat, in conjunction with brandy in a B&B.
In the mid-1960s while stationed near San Francisco I often went to Paoli’s Old Library for a B&B (65 cents) and appetizers (free). On my Navy salary that was pure heaven. - Calvados: Hailing from the Normandy region of Northwest France, Calvados is an appellation-controlled apple brandy. The area has always been associated with apples and apple cider, but received more attention when the phylloxera bug hit vineyards in the late 1800s.
- Absinthe: The so-called Green Fairy might be the most quintessential of all French-made spirits, even if it is originally a Swiss creation. Frankly, it’s difficult to discuss the history of French drinking culture without mentioning absinthe. What began life as a simple maceration of anise, fennel, wormwood and other herbs in alcohol took on an almost mythological status, complete with an artistic movement, international backlash, rediscovery, and finally acceptance again in 2007. Pernod Absinthe is one of the oldest producers with a classic flavor profile.
- Saint-Germain is one of the more unique French spirits to taste in Paris. This classic elderflower liqueur was named after the Parisian neighborhood, Saint-Germain-des-Prés.
Saint-Germain liqueur was officially launched in 2007. Though according to local legend, the creator of this Parisian favorite is supposedly the great grandson of Chambord’s creator. Saint-Germain liqueur has a mild, floral flavor, which makes it a popular addition to various cocktails. But the elderflower essence is definitely not lacking because each bottle contains over 1,000 handpicked elderflower blossoms!
Christmas Movies Part 2
We are full into Christmas movies now. There is no escaping; you all will be assimilated into the holiday Christmas movie Mixmaster. Too bad if you have an elf allergy, they crop up everywhere. However, we are trying to bring some sanity to the holidays so check out the second part of our movie list. We’ve suffered though the really awesomely bad movies so you don’t have to.
Here’s a helpful hint: eliminate any movie with the word Christmas in it that’s rated TV-G and you’ll avoid most. However, I did mark the movies rated R as a warning to your family.
We like to take our Hallmark Christmas movies with a stiff drink so the predictability is not as visible. We previously suggested a good parlor game would be to see who can predict how things will turn out first. I’m not saying Hallmark movies are bad; for kids many are perfect to put on while you do more serious things. Probably not bad for adults acting like kids, like after the third martini. After watching a few of these you’ll find yourself asking your wife, “Didn’t we just watch this last week?”
The following list is chronological and continues from last week’s show, beginning in the 90s.
All I want for Christmas (1991) with Thora Birch, Ethan Embry
A brother and sister attempt to bring their divorced parents back together for Christmas. Wow, that must be a first for this type of movie. (I hope you detected the sarcasm here.) A very young and precocious Thora Birch steals the show with the help of Santa (Leslie Nielsen). A charming and well-done family comedy.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993): Dir Tim Burton with Danny Elfman
Danny Elfman and Tim Burton have worked together in many films; much like Hitchcock and Bernard Herrmann. Elfman even provides the voice for Jack Skellington. While this is not everyone’s idea of a Christmas movie give it a chance and it’ll win you over. The songs are also very good.
Miracle on 34th Street (1994) with Richard Attenborough, Elizabeth Perkins and Mara Wilson
This is the second well-done Miracle on 34th Street with another compelling Santa and an ultra-precocious child discovering the real Santa. It must have taken some work to find a replacement for Natalie Wood, but Wilson was up to the task. This is another movie I do every year; a feel-good and funny movie.
Trivia: Sami the deaf girl (Samantha Krieger) was actually deaf (one of three deaf siblings from deaf parents). Richard Attenborough asked for her not to be rehearsed for the scene, so the surprise on her face when he signed to her was genuine. And if that didn’t generate a tear you must be the Grinch.
The Ref (1994) R-rated: Denis Leary, Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey
This one plays strictly for laughs with the always wonderful Judy Davis. Leary is a would-be thief who has met his match when Judy and Kevin, bickering all the time disrupt his plan, whatever it was. It gets worse when expected guests for the holidays arrive and Leary has to be pretend to be a marriage counselor, something Judy and Kevin desperately need. I should mention the language in this is pretty strong, but I did say they’re getting a divorce, right?
The Santa Claus (1994): Tim Allen, Wendy Crewson
When Allen startles Santa, who falls off his roof, he inherits the job. Even though he has no desire to take the Christmas Eve ride, events conspire to insure that is exactly what happens. And it happens a couple more times as this one was ripe for sequels. Allen does a creditable Santa Claus, even though it takes him a while to fill the role.
On older releases of the film, Tim Allen made a sarcastic remark in the movie, which included the line “1-800-SPANK-ME.” During the film’s release, a woman from near Cleveland, Ohio called the supposedly-fictional number for her curious grandchildren. It turned out to be a phone sex line. However, it wasn’t until 1997, when Disney received complaints from parents whose children called the number and racked up huge phone bills, did the studio take action and cut the line for future releases. Disney also said that they would purchase the phone number to disconnect the service.
The Christmas Box (1995): Richard Thomas, Maureen O’Hara
Another G-rated TV Xmas movie. We warned you about these, but it’s hard to pass on this one when the wonderful O’Hara stars in it. A ski-shop owner (Thomas) reluctantly moves himself, his wife, and his daughter in to an estate as live-in help for an elderly widow. No points if you guess this was is a Hallmark movie.
Home for the Holidays (1995):Holly Hunter, Robert Downey Jr., Anne Bancroft
After losing her job, making out with her soon-to-be former boss, and finding out that her daughter plans to spend Thanksgiving with her boyfriend, Claudia Larson faces spending the holiday with her family. Yes, drama is on display, but a lot of good comedy, too. Hunter and Bancroft are very good as mother and daughter.
Jingle All the Way (1995): Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad
A father vows to get his son a Turbo Man action figure for Christmas. However, every store is sold out, and he must travel all over town and compete with everybody else in order to find one. This one is a bit heavy on the comedy and not for everyone. Certainly not for someone searching for the last Turbo Man on the planet.
The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) R-rated: with Geena Davis & Samuel L. Jackson
Samantha Caine lives in a small town with her daughter. Eight years ago she emerged, two months pregnant, from a nearby river with no memory of her past or who she is. However, she’s getting closer to finding out about her past. Shane Black who wrote Lethal Weapon gives us another wild and fun ride. And Geena is quite fetching as Mrs. Claus and quite daunting as an assassin for hire. I think this was her best role.
Ebenezer (1998): with Jack Palance, Ricky Schroder
This one is set in the old west with Palance as a miserly land baron. Andy Webb of the Movie Scene, who seems to have heroically reviewed every Christmas movie said the first 15 minutes were promising, but then failed to live up to the interesting premise. Still Palance as Scrooge I can see.
A Christmas Wish (1998): with Debbie Reynolds, Neil Patrick Harris, Naomi Watts
A Christmas movie with a mystery, good acting and earning high marks from Andy Webb. And Debbie Reynolds, did I mention that? After his father passes away a distraught Harris visits his Grandmother who makes a request to track down a woman in his father’s life. While Debbie never got great roles in later life, she was the ultimate trooper. Many of us probably grew older with Debbie, I did.
One Special Night (1999): James Garner & Julie Andrews
The main actors indicate why you want to watch this movie. This is their third outing together and while it isn’t in the class of The Americanization of Emily (1964) and Victor, Victoria (1982) they still have charm to spare and great chemistry. If you have a fireplace glowing while you watch it, all the better.
Reindeer Games (2000) R-rated: with Charlize Theron, Ben Afflect, Gary Sinise
Set during the holidays, a gang of bad guys and one clueless ex-con (Afflect) don Santa suits to rob a casino. Double-crosses abound with Ben in the middle. The screenplay has more holes than Swiss cheese and you will find yourself shaking you heads several times. In fact I wrenched my neck from it. While not given high marks by movie critics I’ve found this movie weird enough to watch multiple time, but now with a neck brace. I guess having a very fetching Charlize in it might have been a factor.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000): Dir Ron Howard, with Jim Carrey
On the outskirts of Whoville lives a green, revenge-seeking Grinch who plans to ruin Christmas for all town’s citizens. At the time I thought that was the purpose of this movie; to spoil Christmas for me. But then countless TV Christmas movies in this century did a much better job of it.
The Family Man (2000): Nickolas Cage, Tea Leoni
A fast-lane investment broker offered the opportunity to see how his other self lives, wakes up to find that his sports car and girlfriend have become a mini-van and wife. I know what you’re thinking; Nicky Cage, this will be weird. And it kinda is, but having Tea Leoni as the love interest made it work. And Cage seldom goes over the top in this one, making it all the more remarkable.
A Christmas Visitor (2002): William Devane, Meredith Baxter
A father struggles with the past. A daughter fights for the future. A mother searches for answers. This family has not celebrated Christmas in 11 years. They lost their faith when they lost their son to the Persian Gulf War. Now a stranger–around the same age their son would be–has joined them, for the holidays.
OK, working from that I can think of several screenplays hitting the same plot points, with different characters, sets, costumes, and time periods; so it is the actors that make it work. Bring hankies.
Remember my formula for movies to avoid? Well this one is actually TV-PG and not quite as sanguine as some of these Hallmark-style movies. If it wasn’t for Andy Webb of The Movie Scene I’d have been trapped with many of these TV Christmas movies. Do check him out.
The Santa Claus 2 (2002): with Tim Allen, Elizabeth Mitchell
Now 8 years after the first movie comes a second clause; this one being Santa needs a Mrs. Claus. I hope there weren’t too many clauses for you to track. Roger Ebert preferred this to the first movie, which was also a big hit. And the Tooth Fairy gets involved with this one so I know you wanna see that.
Bad Santa (2003) R-rated: with Billy Bob Thornton, Bernie Mac
A miserable conman and his partner pose as Santa and his Little Helper to rob department stores on Christmas Eve. But they run into problems when the conman befriends a troubled kid. In case you weren’t sure, this is not a Hallmark movie and it is rated R and Santa really is bad. But the movie is funny as long as you don’t have the whole family watch it. Otherwise you’ll be quickly searching for the remote.
Love Actually (2004) R-rated: Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Alan Richman, Laura Linney
There are really so many good actors in this one; there are 9 separate storylines. Assemble movies require careful balancing to come off right. This one comes off brilliantly and is a seasonal favorite we hope shows up streaming every year. Wonderful actors in the holiday groove; it’s magic.
Christmas with the Kranks (2004): Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis
Tim Allen in a Christmas movie? What a surprise. And a comedy of course as Tim first suggests they head for the beach instead of decorating their home in one of those communities that expects everyone to take part. And then when their daughter decides to come home for Xmas after all, they have only hours to make their home Christmassy. Oh what could go wrong here?
The Polar Express (2004): Tom Hanks, Chris Coppola
One of the best animation movies of all time, but if you get car sick you might want to give it a pass. This one works for the whole family. We get aboard just about every year. Especially now when my toy train set is not working. I have to push it around the tree; very disheartening.
The Family Stone (2005): Rachel McAdams, Dermot Mulroney, Claire Danes
An uptight, businesswoman accompanies her boyfriend to his eccentric and outgoing family’s annual Christmas celebration and is out of touch with their free-spirited way of life. Sarah Jessica Parker has never played so uptight in her life, but she carries it off. This one ages well.
The Ice Harvest (2005) R-rated: John Cusack, Billy Bob Thornton, Connie Nielson
A shady lawyer attempts a Christmas Eve crime, hoping to swindle the local mob out of some money. But his partner, a strip club owner, might have different plans for the cash. This is one of those set-during-Christmas movies that plays with the trappings but comedy and crime are the features. Still a well done movie and a break from all those Hallmark smarmy ones.
Nothing Like the Holidays (2008): John Leguizamo, Freddie Rodriguez, Debra Messing
A Puerto Rican family in Humbolt Park area of Chicago gather around for Christmas together. A well worn plot but livened by a good story, good acting and good spirits.
Everybody’s Fine (2009): Robert De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale
Frank Goode is waiting for his four children to show up for the holidays, but all cancel at the eleventh hour so Frank decides to visit all of them. If you guessed four stories will evolve from this you’d be right. De Niro does a good job of inhabiting the lead character with a good support cast.
The Christmas Chronicles (2018): Kurt Russell
Kurt Russell, Cubby, became Santa? When did that happen? Well in 2018 to be exact and Kurt is the coolest Santa ever as the two kids that leap in his sleigh discover when they inadvertently come along on his ride. The special effects are special, but it’s Kurt dominating the role as Santa that will forever change you image of Mr. Claus. This is not the Snake from Escape from New York (1981), but he’s just as tough. Isn’t that what we need for a guy that travels the world dealing out toys and presents? I think so.
You might be wondering; what happened between 2009 to 2018? Sadly, not much. Love the Coopers in 2015 was roundly panned and seemed to induce nausea. The glut of Christmas TV-G movies kept coming up with even worse titles than before. Anna and the Apocalypse (2018) was a Zombie Christmas musical. How much further from the Christmas spirit can one go?
The Ultimate Christmas Movie Guide ended in 2018 and while there are four more years of movies to consider I’m done after 411 movies. My brains are fried, but I hope I’ve saved you from the excruciating pain of watching bad Christmas movies, because my dear friends nothing is worse!
December Music: Traditional
Traditional Christmas music includes religious and popular or what you typically hear in shops, malls and other venues. Many of the selections are familiar to most ears even if we can’t place the title.
Popular music comes from pop, jazz, rock, classical and religious sources. In some cases a popular Christmas song has been reworked into a jazz or rock idiom. The following list is from Amazon Music and runs just over 5 hours and no, we are not playing them here.
- All I want for Christmas is You: Mariah Carey (really, that’s number 1?)
- Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree: Brenda Lee (now that’s a classic)
- Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer: Gene Autry
- Jingle Bell Rock: Bobby Helms
- It’s the Most Wonderful Time: Andy Williams (tell me you can’t hear Andy’s voice on this.)
- A Holly Jolly Christmas: Burl Ives
- Sleigh Ride: The Ronettes (Leroy Anderson composed the instrumental version of this classic number. He was the music arranger for Arthur Fiedler’s Boston Pops.)
- Last Christmas: Wham!
- Feliz Navidad: Jose Feliciano (An oft-heard greeting here in New Mexico.)
- White Christmas: Bing Crosby & Ken Darby Singers
Now that’s according to Amazon. I looked for some of my other favorites further down the list.
- It’s beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: Michael Bublé
- This Christmas: Donny Hathaway
- Santa Baby: Eartha Kitt – nobody does this one better than Eartha
- The Christmas Song: Nat King Cole (AKA Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: Michael Bublé
- Linus & Lucy: Vince Guaraldi Trio
- Baby, It’s Cold Outside: Dean Martin (better as a duet with Dianne Reeves & Lou Rawls – Jazz to the World- Blue Note)
- Christmas Eve/Sarajevo: Trans-Siberian Orch.
But if I really want to bring the house down I play the Trans-Siberian Orchestra: Christmas Eve and Other Stories DVD; notably the track – O Come All Ye Faithful/O Holy Night.
The Wine Report: Wines worth Having
Hugues de Beauvignac 2021 Picpoul de Pinet, 12.5% ABV, $13.99
In a tall, elegant, embossed green bottle that makes it easier to find. The Picpoul grape has its best expression in the Picpoul de Pinet AOP. This is my go-to oyster wine; perhaps because the lagoon that separates the vineyards from the Mediterranean Sea is where the bulk of France’s oysters are farmed. Bright citrus notes and good minerality make this a good sipper anytime, but I save mine to pair with seafood.
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